Alcohol.

I’ve had a couple of serious relationships over the years. Some good, some not so. I’ve been mostly busy raising my boys. All grown up and pretty gorgeous now.

A long time ago, i was in a relationship with a clever, articulate, kind soul. Who was an alcoholic. Still is, of course. Not sober, though. I saw him fairly recently, staggering out of the local shop with a new bottle of wine. He looked lke he’d already downed several. Sad. He struggled with the fact that as an artist, he’d lost his spark and creative flair. He couldn’t see why.

14 years later. Cut to current day.

My kind, thoughtful boyfriend. Is displaying all of the traits that i’d long forgotten. 15 drinks one evening (probably more) when he first met my sons – they’re not that bad. Har har. It’s not funny. It’s tummy churny. I wanted this to work. Want this to work. He likes to lie a lot. Will agree one thing, do another. Loves me. Not quite enough. Likes to have everything his way in his bachelor soaked life. Not much room for me. He doesn’t realise that. He thinks that he’s ready to have an honest, respectful, communicative relationship. I am hoping that he thinks that i’m worth making an effort for.

If i could wish one thing, it’s this – that all of us were able to remember the importance of looking after ourselves and of being honest about/with ourselves and equally to respect, nurture and embrace the people that we love. Those, my friends, are qualities that are hard to find. Hold tight.

Alcohol abuse as opposed to alcohol dependency, can be far worse to tackle. It’s easy to kid yourself that you havent got a problem, if you don’t need to drink first thing in the morning. “i’ve gone 3 days with alcohol and didn’t really miss it” is a phrase that i’ve heard a lot, of late. Nigh on impossible to walk into a bar without downing two pints, driving or not, though.

Truth is, for some, alcohol might seem like a good way to relax but sometimes it’s a tip toe towards choatic and unpredicatable behaviour. Walking into doors, going out on your own and dancing in a bar with strangers. There might just be someone at home waiting for you, who’s feeling ever so worried about all of that.

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